5 Self-Confidence Myths to Transform into Self-Loving Beliefs

Discover five of the biggest self-confidence myths you’ve probably lived with for years and learn how to transform these toxic beliefs into self-love.

When you grow up in a society that profits off your insecurities, self-confidence is rare to come by. If you were conditioned to believe you are insufficient or engrained with a one-size-fits-all portrayal of self-confidence, take this opportunity to recognize the falsehood of those notions. Learn how to start believing in yourself by releasing these 5 self-confidence myths.

Myth #1: You either are self-confident or you’re not

 As with any other life skill, self-confidence is something you can learn! There is no hard line between those that are self-confident and those that are not; there is only a path on which some are further along than others. Although it seems to be innately possessed by a few, the truth is that self-confidence is a journey on which we discover new ways to believe in ourselves. Our uniquely different childhood experiences leave us all at different levels of self-confidence. For those of us inadvertently taught to doubt ourselves, to be self-sacrificing and humble, we can gain ground on the path to self-confidence by looking inward and reawakening self-love. If we genuinely believe in ourselves, we no longer have to downplay our strength and our beauty, and can instead embrace all that makes us unique and exquisite. The key to being self-confidence is to be comfortable accepting the things we like about ourselves without shame. Create a list of your favorite personal attributes (self-love resume) and make it part of your daily affirmations. Appreciate the victories, but also the way you handle failure and challenges in your life. The intricacies of your personality are what make you unique and are completely worthy of your celebration. 

Myth #2: Self-confidence is synonymous with arrogance

 Self-confidence is actually the antithesis of arrogance! The truth is that we all have insecurities but our reaction to them determines whether we choose a path of arrogance or self-confidence. Simply put, arrogance is born out of the insecurities we try to conceal, while confidence rests on the insecurities we overcome. For example, when someone uses superiority (bullying, manipulation) to alleviate the discomfort of their own insecurities, they are acting out of arrogance while others who act in proactive acknowledgement ultimately gain genuine self-confidence. One who possesses true self-confidence has somewhere along their personal journey learned how to leverage their strengths to lift themselves up without having to put others down, and acknowledged their insecurities and come to appreciate themselves nonetheless. Self-confidence is apparent in the way people carry themselves and in the way they treat others.  

Myth #3: People can’t be confident without a resume of traditional accomplishments

 One of the myths we convince ourselves of is that we are not worthy of confidence without having an impressive income, an Instagram feed filled with exotic vacations, or an attractive partner on our arm. The social media phenomenon amplifies self-doubts, which contribute to a growing epidemic of anxiety and depression. In reality, life is not a competition. When you learn to stop comparing the successes of others to your own, you’ll be able to focus on unlocking your true potential and embrace self-love. Defining success on your own terms and creating your own happiness is a great step towards achieving self-confidence. 

Myth #4: “I have made too many mistakes in my life to make a change now”

 As important as it is to take ownership and responsibility for the mistakes that we have made in life, it’s equally as important to learn to forgive ourselves. Living in what feels like a perpetual scenario of mistake after mistake can take a toll on your confidence and welcome self-doubt. Nonetheless, you can prevent succumbing to a state of hopelessness by finding forgiveness. With forgiveness, you can free yourself from guilt or other limiting emotions that can weigh us down. Take a step back and understand that everyone makes mistakes. It’s how we deal with them that matters. Get to the root of the issue, find a solution or if there isn’t a solution, accept the situation and move on. Think of negative thoughts as tenants that don’t pay rent and your mind as the landlord… would you allow a tenant that didn’t pay rent? If not, then why allow negative thoughts to live rent free in your mind? Move on. 

Myth #5: “No one believes in me therefore, I shouldn’t believe in myself”

 Absolutely not! Probably the most important myth to release from your mind is that you need approval of others before you can approve of yourself. In fact, the reverse is true. When you emit self-confidence, whether in the workplace, in a relationship or elsewhere in life, others will feel compelled to offer their trust and respect to you. Sure, receiving approval from others is great for the ego, but if you don’t believe in yourself, you’ll never find true confidence. You can’t make it someone else’s responsibility to boost your self-esteem. That is a job reserved for you alone and when you invest in believing in yourself it will become apparent that you can unlock the self-confidence you’ve been yearning for. 

You have control of your life! Maximize opportunities, start changing the way you think and believe!