Strategies for Empowering Yourself Through Forgiveness
Eliminating stress from your life and empowering yourself to move forward in a positive direction can be accomplished with one single word - forgiveness. Arguments, betrayal and mistakes can derail us from our happiness and create stress that destroys us mentally and physically. As difficult as it may seem to confront these issues with a forgiving heart, learning to let go can free yourself from the hate and resentment that holds you back from finding peace and balance in your life. Here are some strategies to empower yourself by forgiving yourself and others.
Identify your triggers. Author Lupe Mora advises in her book, Magic (v.), to figure out what in your life is weighing you down. She accurately describes triggers as “mental and emotional imprisonment.” We relinquish our freedom to these triggers because we are no longer in control as soon as they present themselves. Triggers often strike a cord within our own insecurities, bringing up unresolved pain. Listing out your triggers and forgiving them can help you free yourself from the anger, fear and anxiety that hold you back.
Speak your truth.Often times we are in a battle all by ourselves. The person we take issue with are completely oblivious to what they’ve done to hurt you. You can’t expect someone to resolve a problem they aren’t aware of. Use honest, empathic communication to express your pain, not to shame them, but in order to establish your boundaries. With the right intentions, speaking your mind can help promote healthy relationships with others.
Check your expectations.We often hold others to a level of standards that are on par with, or above the ones we hold for ourselves. No one is perfect (ourselves included). In fact, more often than not, most people will let you down one way or another at some point in time. Expecting a relationship free from discourse is unrealistic. Once you accept that not everyone will see eye to eye with you, you can agree to disagree and move on with your life. Hoping they will admit fault or ask for forgiveness will get you nowhere. Instead, manage your own expectations and learn to be happy with little victories.
Stop blaming others. One of the most solid pieces of advice I’ve ever received is that you can’t control what others do, only how you react to what they do. This puts control back into your hands. Instead of allowing an action, statement or mistake from triggering you, handle the situation with empathy and a level of understanding. Learn to take responsibility for the role you played in creating the issue and forgive yourself.
Learn when to walk away. There may be situations where forgiveness has led you towards moving forward in a positive relationship. Other times, you find yourself in a cycle of toxicity. Understand that what happens next is entirely up to you. Deciding when it’s time to walk away to show yourself the love and respect you deserve is a responsibility that is in your hands alone. Own it and accept when a negative relationship is over so you can move onto the next chapter in your life.
Find empowerment in owning your actions and use forgiveness as a way to heal your battle scars.